not great. but ok. yet still bad. but idk
so i just got done web chatting with that guy russel. the one who is in the army. i havent talked to him like for a really long time. we dont web chat cus i refuse to make myself available to him. but it was nice. we dont talk about the future. but he still puts in those ideas nonchalantly about if we got together. not great. but yea it was cus we were talkin about my car and what he can do to it as far as fix it up and also what my goals are for the future. like if we have a chance. i just say nothing is guaranteed for the future and i leave it at that. but it was ok that we talked cus ive been making myself “busy” yet still bad that we talked. cus i am hoping that i am not leading him on. i mean i’m still available to other people. im just not looking. ya know. i do like that he has changed and we dont talk about us getting married and crap. it makes me feel like he’s slowed his role. on a side note. i must remind myself why i am not fallin for this guy and its cus he isnt intelligent. like non intellectual. he lives far away. and we would have a long distance relationship.. which i dont think i could do. plus i think deep down he could be a psycho boyfriend. ive experienced the red flags and flashing signs and im not even his girlfriend. all i know is that i would like to be his friend. and let it stay that way. i’m a bit involved in his life enough that i do care about his life and well being. afganistan is a dangerous place to the eyes of an American. so i hope he is well and staying safe. but idk.. like as far as that.. thats all i am willing to be. FRIENDS. strictly friends. no funny business
